Falalalala~ lala la la!

Christmas is back with a vengeance and Santa’s gonna ride his sleigh over your ass soon! The season of giving and being thankful for the people around you, even if especially if they annoy the hell out of you, is upon us!

Short history lesson: Christmas is the celebration of the birthday of Yehoshua the Nazarene some 2000 years ago. Sure, technically, it’s almost certain that he wasn’t born on the 25th of December but that’s not important! The important thing is the spirit and symbolism of the celebration: hope, reconciliation, forgiveness and thanksgiving to name some.

This article is actually about the JE Christmas Bash. Now, let it not be said that I did not warn you people: This Bash is organized by the JE – the Jesus Embassy. It is a religious group and therefore, there will be some elements at the Bash that some people might find offensive. I mean, I haven’t seen the agenda but there might be prayers, carols and the songs might revolve around Jesus. I know, it IS Christmas, what did I expect, right? But I do know some people who felt they were caught off-guard in the previous Bashes, so I might as well add this warning here.

Being a Malaysian, let me begin with the food. If you’ve never had authentic russian food, this is the place to have it. First of all, it’s free. Second of all, no, it’s not the weak-ass generic-tasting kotlet pa-kievskii that went up by 13 roubles since I first came here. No, these are real home-cooked Russian delicacies. Sure, it might be the same salat s krevetkami and the chicken you can find in any stalovaya but seriously, these are home-cooked. Come on, you know the difference between home-cooked and commercially sold meals, right?

What is Christmas without caroling, eh? Yep, usually, the Bashes open up slowly with carols. It’s hard to believe that the choir members are students from our very own university. These are the everyday people who we interact with, yet once a year at the Winter Solstice, these people unleash their angelic voices upon us. And every year I get that feeling of awe at the harmony and unity that these people beam.

A staple of the JE Bashes would be at least two modern dance performances and at least one performance art. I’d be very surprised if the LIFE dance group isn’t invited to perform and/or if there won’t be a break-dance show by the African students. Personally, the highlight of the night for me would be the performance art thing. In past years they had sketches, comedic lip-synching and, last year, they even had a very deep mime act. I actually keep score with myself whether each year performance trumps the year before or not. So far, it has not been disappointing. I sometimes wonder from where these people get the creativity to come out with this stuff.

Now, no party deserves to be called a Bash if it doesn’t have an open floor session, does it? Don’t worry, JE Bashes traditionally open the floor to boogie-woogie. Last year, they actually had a live band! Not your mellow yellow bands, either. They had a Real Rockin’ Band! To be COMPLETELY honest with you, dear readers, this is the part of the night that rates the lowest on my scale. No, not because the song selection sucks – they rock. Partly it’s because of me having two left feet that couldn’t decide which would be the right foot, but a bigger part would be I feel that I’m too old for these things.

Yes, I’m younger, much younger than most of you think but I’m a recycled soul. In the immortal words of Kipling, “He never wasted a leaf or a tree, do you think he would squander souls?”

But I digress. Let me end this with the details now lest I get chastised for my haranguing. Damn, Kipling got me all literal and shit.

The Christmas Bash: 27-12 1800

JE XMas Bash `08: El Amor Mas Grande
Date: 27/XII/2008
Time: 1800 sharp
Venue: Церковь Иисуса Спасителя <- I’m not quite sure where but…
Transportation: Buses will be made available at both Kim and Hiroshima hostels.

P.S: The good people at JE provided us with a slideshow of last year’s event:

No, it’s not the latest installation of the “Do You Like Horny Bunnies?” game series. I’m talking about Watership Down here.

Now, when you look at the book cover, you’d be turned off by the depictions of bunny rabbits. You, a future doctor who battles everyday with the likes of differential diagnostics and the choosing of the right dosage of the right antibiotics, are not about to read a book with bunny rabbits on its cover! Yeah, I wasn’t expecting to like it too, though my reason was I am ghey enough already.

But thanks to Donnie Darko, I gritted my teeth and, with as much manliness as I could muster, ventured to the Lapine world of charismatic Hazel and Fiver and the mystical El-ahrairah.

Watership Down was the first novel written by Richard Adams and moves to-and-fro between the genres of Children, Classic, Epic and Fantasy. It has been compared to Homer’s Oddysey and Virgil’s Aeneid. It won awards and was placed number 42 of the greatest book of all time by the British public. It didn’t do so well in the States but it is one of my maxims to look to the Brits for comments on all things literary and the Americans for movies.

Watership Down begins with Fiver’s unsettling visions of doom. Jesus rightly said that “A prophet is not without honour, but in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house” and such happened to poor old Fiver. He was not believed by the Chief Rabbit and therefore left his warren with his brother, Hazel, Bigwig the Warrior Rabbit, Dandelion the storyteller and but a few other bucks.

From there on, the focus was shifted to Hazel and his natural leadership. After many hardship, the rabbits finally settled down at Watership Down. But it was not the time for our courageous bunnies to rest yet. New problems arose. Together, the band of rabbits went on to search for does for mating, battle fascist rabbits, rescue does-in-distress from evil farmer and his dogs, and strike alliances with the unlikeliest of creatures. What more can you want from a novel?

The book itself revolves around themes one do not find in children books these days: exile, survival, political responsibility, the never-ending struggle between tyranny and freedom, reason and emotion. Therefore, the book is intellectually engaging enough for adults to enjoy but still filled with adventure and heroism and, of course, cute little bunnies that are attractive to the younger generation.

Let me be honest with you.

The first thing I did after watching the film Wanted was imitating the gun-swinging action thing. It was such a fun movie, much like how I feel all testosterone-y after watching 300 [I wanted to shout THIS IS SPARTA! and kick people into pits and whatnot] and how August Rush made me vow to listen to the music of nature. [Which I forgot after half a day]

Admittedly, the storyline leaves a lot to be desired for and the logic is ridiculous. But there’s Angelina Jolie, weh: the woman who certified I’m not gay and created my interest in hot, sizzling Latinas. But again, I must repeat, it’s a fun movie!

Imagine my surprise when I learnt that it came from a graphic novel! There are a few movies that could even be on the same par with the original literature, [LotR, 2004 adaptation of the Count of Monte Cristo] let alone be better than the book itself. So, simple deduction: movie = good, comic = better.

Wanted the movie is very, very loosely based on the graphic novel itself. I guess, the gist is the same but everything was totally different. For example, in the movie, it’s a group of assassins; in the graphic novel – supervillains; movie – focus on training itself, graphic novel – revenge. On to the review:

Wesley Gibson was a loser. His girlfriend was unfaithful, his boss constantly berated him for nothing and he was a massive hypochondriac. All that changed with the assassination of the father he never knew. You see, Wesley’s father was the Killer, a super criminal whose superpower was to end life. In executing his will, the Killer’s supervillain friends gave Wesley the chance to be trained in their ways, to escape his mundane and insignificant life. Well, with the words “Sex. Money. Super-powers. Costumes. You know you want it!” on the cover of the first issue, there’s little doubt on Wesley’s choice.

Rising in rank rapidly in a world without superheroes and ruled by supervillains, Wesley Gibson has only one mission: to find his father’s killer. Was it Mr. Rictus, the head of the Australian crime family? His father betrayed the perpetually pissed walking corpse and maybe Mr. Rictus wanted a payback. Or was it his boss The Professor, the man with a level 9 intelligence? The Professor might have wanted to protect his own spot as the head of the Americas. It couldn’t be Fox, his father’s one-time lover, now, could it? But all the evidences point towards her.

Mark Millar’s writing was hailed as “the Watchmen for supervillains” by the UK Sunday Times. I do think that it’s an exaggeration but not by much. The whole series was rife with philosophies of egocentricism, witty comedy and foul words. The 6-issue long series was drawn by J. G. Jones. Not my favourite artist but his artwork suits the story naturally.

A word of warning, though: This comic is filled with strong language, sexual references, gore and a very negative outlook on life. It is definitely not suited for children and people, who don’t wish to be exposed to these elements. Enjoy!

Let me be honest with you. Before I heard this album, I only know Panic at the Disco as a conversational piece. You know when people say, “Eh, You heard the new Panic at the Disco song? Damn cool la!” And you go, “Yes meh?” or “Ya ya ya!” when you actually heard the PatD for the first time. Then, when those people argue why it’s cool, you take mental notes so that it would seem that you know about the song when you talk to other people.

So, I experimented this album by pulling off the network. Let’s talk music: the style is an obvious rip-off of / tribute to the Beatles, particularly circa Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band: the psychadelic lyrics, the baroque-ness of the horns and trumpets, the album opening. Hell, take Nine in the Afternoon video: Sgt Pepper’s costume, scenes from Help! and the band playing in the ice cream theme thing was because of a typo, actually. They were supposed to be playing in a desert – which, with the animal masks, would definitely be a copy of The Beatles’ I am the Walrus video – but somebody mistyped it into dessert. See:

What I usually do with bands that I just start to like is scour the internet for their previous albums. PatD has really changed since it was Panic! at the Disco instead. A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out is good-God-that’s-Emo, while Pretty. Odd. is anything but. The band was labeled as an Emo band and decidedly hated it. It shows. They’re obviously trying to stay away from the genre as far as possible. Every song in the latter have an upbeat sound and theme, maybe with the exception of “Northern Downpour” but even that gave a feel good vibe.

It seems they went mature, the cliche of all punk bands that started with Blink 182′s the Cure route and going on to My Chemical Romance’s Queen influence.

Gone were the days when the titles of their songs were “London Beckoned Songs About Money Written by Machines” and “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” and “Build God, then We Talk”. Instead, they’re now “That Green Gentleman”, “Folkin’ Around” and “Pas de Cheval”. A loss, I think because the former way was so funny.

Lyrics. Lord Almighty, Ryan Ross seems to pull a Lennon on “I am the Walrus” and “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” and then decided that’s not psychadelic enough, so supplemented his acid trip with drags of MILF weed. Let me just turn on the shuffle on my Winamp and show a nonsensical lyric of the song. The Piano Knows Something I Don’t Know. Even the title is confusing. Onto a piece of the song:

“I wont cut my beard, I wont change my hair.
It grows like fancy flowers but it grows nowhere.
My hair, my hair.

If I could build my house just like the Trojan horse,
I’d put a statue of myself upon the shelf. Of course,
Of course, of course…”

Trying to make sense of these two opening stanzas almost made me pull my hair in frustration. I might not be deep enough to understand the hidden meaning, though. So, please, enlighten me if you do. Indeed, Pas de Cheval is the only song that makes sense to me.

Rereading my review, I must say it sounds like I hate the album. That couldn’t be further from the truth! Originality comes hard for artists these days. You have to give credit to these kids for standing out in the crowd. That’s why I favor the ‘tribute to’ instead of ‘rip-off of’ the Beatles.

The album’s are the only contemporary songs I listen to. The beat and theme are enjoyable, the silliness of the lyrics is really fun to sing-along to, the collaboration of the vocals of Urie and Ross in some of the songs work extremely well. But most importantly it made me nostalgic of the Beatles.

Overall, I give the album a B+ – losing points through the trying too hard.

Track listing:

1. “We’re So Starving” – 1:21
2. “Nine in the Afternoon” – 3:11
3. “She’s a Handsome Woman” – 3:12
4. “Do You Know What I’m Seeing?” – 4:14
5. “That Green Gentleman [Things Have Change]” – 3:15
6. “I Have Friends in Holy Spaces” – 1:56
7. “Northern Downpour” – 4:07
8. “When the Day Met the Night” – 4:53
9. “Pas de Cheval” - 2:39
10. “The Piano Knows Something I Don’t Know” – 3:43
11. “Behind the Sea” – 3:33
12. “Folkin’ Around” – 1:55
13. “She Had the World” – 3:47
14. “From a Mountain in the Middle of the Cabins” – 3:02
15. “Mad as Rabbits” – 3:43

Band Members:

Brendon Urie – Lead Vocals, Guitar, Keyboard
Ryan Ross – Vocals, Guitar, Keyboard
Jon Walker – Bass
Spencer Smith – Drums, Percussion

A friend of mine just told me that Goths are extreme Emos. SHOCKING, ain’t it? Let me clear this out:

The Goth fashion in one phrase is Morticia Adams. Black hair, pale skin ~ though not necessary, black eyeliners, black nails. The dressing style is highly inspired by the Elizabethan and Victorian fashion, spefically black in color, very morbid, very highly erotic even when usually a Gothic dress covers more than it shows.

The Gothic look has obviously been inspired by the 30s and 40s silent horror movies when the make-up and costume had to speak more about the characters. And synonymous with the stereotypical Gothic look is, of course, Vlad Tepes himself, that is to say, the potrayal of Dracula in most movies.

Male Gothic clothing involves usuall, though not limited to, black trenchcoats. Robes and highly fashionable and extravagant suit is also not uncommon. Apparently one unspoken rule of the male Gothic fashion, they show minimal skin ~ Sleeves are never short.

Goth jewelry, if any, often revolves around heavily decorated crucifixes and simple ankhs. They’re always silver, though.

Personality-wise, Goths, while not extrovert, are generally friendly, try to bring about a mysterious air about them and quite laid back, letting their presentation tell of their Gothic inclination. Though mostly populated by white people, Black, Asian and even Arab Goths are commonplace.

Emo on the other hand:

They started in the mid 80s with the emocore post-punk music scene. Followers then often tend to overpierce and borrowed the eyeliners and black theme from the Goths while retaining most of the punk fashion. These hardcore rockers died in the mid 90s. Unfortunately, a bunch of kids in the early 2000s googled emocore and said, “Hey, I’m emo, too!”

According to the wise men on the Mountain of Wikipedia, Emo fashion nowadays constitutes of “tight jeans on males and females alike, long fringe (bangs) brushed to one side of the face or over one or both eyes, dyed black, straight hair, tight t-shirts (sometimes short sleeved) which often bear the names of emo bands (or other designer shirts), studded belts, belt buckles, canvas sneakers or skate shoes or other black shoes (often old and beaten up) and thick, black horn-rimmed glasses.” The bangs are 100% wajib – without them, you ain’t no Emo, no matter how white you are. Being not so hardcore like their predecessors, Emos have only one or two piercings. Scroll down below for a pic of an Emocore – not Emo.

Emos also dominate almost 50% of the blogosphere – the other 50% being camwhores and very small traces of we others.

As a stereotype, Emos are often assosciated with introvertness, depression, self-injury and suicide. One should not forget that Emos are also assosciated with whinings and groups of people who hates the whining. They’re also predominantly white. Take it from Sustagenius! if you aren’t as white as a Ku Klux Klan bedsheet, do not attempt to be Emo.

As visual aid, here are some pictures for reference:-

Gothic Man

Gothic Eroticism

Goth Couple Playing into the Male Domination Stereotype

Emo Uniform

Emo Clique

Egad, run! It's Emo camwhores!

Emocore NOT Emo

Anybody selling their external hard disk? Preferably 120 GBs and up. My contact can be found through the link under the title. Price cheap cheap enough la, ah?

So I sat here yesterday for almost two hours – well not really spent sitting, more of alternating between squirming, lying down, stretching, annoying my roommate, not necessarily in that particular order – trying to think of what to write.

My first idea, since I just finished watching Ichi the Killer the second time, was to write movie reviews on movies you probably have never seen and should see. I wanted to write on Koroshiya Ichi, a movie with excessive violence, violent sex and more violence. A concerned question from the Almighty All-seeing and rather All-too-pansy Admin scrapped that idea out.

Secondly came the idea with the title ‘Mastering Russian 101′, a satirical piece on a newbie’s underestimation of the vastness of the Russian language. But I do think that I could not have written the piece fully without stepping on a whole lot of people’s toes – hell, I might even would have stepped on their gonads for that matter – and since I don’t think the Times support slandering issues, I let that one out.

After a while, my muse whispered to me and suggested for me to write about interesting, at least to me, websites that could kill a few hours of boredom. But I vetoed that for the simple reasoning that people who do visit the site would already have their own time-killing sites.

There were other ideas – Places to visit in Volgograd, Movies I’ve never watched and would respect you so much less if you did, Sustagenius!’s unique recipes that for sure you haven’t tried one, book recommendation, music recommendation – the hell, if I wrote an article for each idea I would have written a whole magazine!

But my name IS Sustagenius! I finally found what to write about.

Do you realize that you have read exactly 302 words on this word? Yeap, an entire post about nothing. I’m such a Sustagenius!